 A Must Read for Women |
| Reviewer: C.Dunn, Eastern NC |
Once upon a time, I joined Twitter, not looking for anything in particular. What I found was so much more. Somehow (and my memory fails me as to how exactly) I found Deborah Dunn (@deborahdunn). She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist here in NC. As I began to follow her updates, I quickly learned that she had just published a new book, titled "Stupid About Men: 10 Rules for Getting Romance Right," that was set to be released on February 3. Right away, I was interested, because let's face it, my track record with guys has been less than stellar. I then followed the Twitter account that she had set up for the book launch (@stupidaboutmen) and waited for the day that the book was available for order on Amazon. On the day that it was released, I ordered it, and anxiously awaited its arrival.
Once it arrived, I wanted to start reading it right away, and hoped to get through it very quickly. Once I started reading, however, I realized that this wasn't just one of those books that you fly through. Even though the book is written in a somewhat light hearted style, the subject matter lends it self to actually thinking about what you have read, and letting it sink in. If you truly want to let this book help you, I recommend going through it slowly and reflecting on which characteristics of women who are Stupid About Men you possess.
Each chapter is based upon a classic fairy tale character, and focuses on a "rule" that we can learn from the the character. At the beginning of each chapter is an excerpt from the classic fairy tale. To me, this was a brilliant concept. If provides a concrete example (fairy tale characters that we all know) to explain what we, as women, have been doing "wrong" for so long. Every girl dreams of having a fairy tale romance, but Dunn shows us just how misconstrued our ideas of romance and relationships have been all these years.
Not only does the book show you the problems that women have with relationships, but it gives you tips and ideas on how to correct those issues. This book is really about equipping women with the tools they need to not only better themselves, but to be successful in relationships with men. Just because the title has the word "Stupid" in it, does not mean that Dunn is implying that women are stupid. She is simply saying that when it comes to men, a lot of us have made some really stupid decisions, and we just need to understand why we keep making them. I have really taken the things that I read in this book to heart. A lot of the changes that I have recently decided to make in my life were prompted by reading this book.
One of the things that I really appreciated about this book is that although the author is a Christian, and the book is published by Howard Books, the Christian division of Simon and Schuster, the book is not pushy on religion. There are several mentions of God, and the relationship that one forms with him, but the books does not take a "force God down your throat" approach.
I am really glad that I found Deborah Dunn online, and even more glad that I decided to read her book. A lot of women would benefit from reading it, whether you are single or in a relationship. Somewhere inside of most of us is a girl that is Stupid About Men. Whether we are a Cinderella, a Snow White, or a Repunzel, or even a combination of several of the characters, this book will be of great help in your journey to "getting" men. I know for me, personally, reading it was the first step to finding my "happily ever after"
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Best dating book ever!
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| Reviewer: Heidi Colom, |
| This is honestly one of the best dating advice books I have ever read, if not the best one. And I have read a lot of them! The book uses very good examples and analogies. And while the author is Christian, it does not come across as preachy at all! It is easy and fun to read, while at the same time very insightful. I highly recommend it to any woman of any age. It actually gives you the tools to avoid/escape bad relationships, while at the same time be able to have a good one. And while it talks about things you can do to better yourself, such as furthering your education and picking up a hobby, it does not tell you to change your inner essence or personality. I highly recommend this book- even for people who are already in satisfying relationships. |
This Should Be Required Reading for all Women 16 to 61
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| Reviewer: Melissa A. Slagle, Oklahoma |
| Stupid About Men is an enjoyable read. Deborah Dunn calls to our attention stuff we need to become aware of that we do (without thinking) to create chaos and poor choices in our lives. It should be required reading for all women who have relationships with men. Also, see my comments under discussion regarding the review by Lee from Sacramento, CA. |
A Wake up Call
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| Reviewer: Elaine Baez, DORAL, FL, US |
| I normally don't write review but this book is worth it.... Thanks Deborah..... This is a Wake up call to all women¨s out there.... some of the thinks she quote we already know but are no willing to face them... |
Stupid about relationships
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| Reviewer: Sacramento Book Review, Sacramento, CA |
The book suffers from a number of problems. Books on why women choose certain romantic types and their pitfalls have been written countless times. While I believe this book has relevancy for a woman to identify that she is not conscious of the fact, for example, she picks "Bad Boys" to date, this book unfortunately will not alter that behavior upon discovering that fact. It is akin to handing a Dummies book to John Wayne Gacy titled "How Not To Be a Serial Killer."
Core psychological behaviors take an enormous amount of time and effort to modify or change, even with a concerted effort utilizing a professional in the psychological field. While the book may help identify the problem, it most assuredly will not dig into your past to figure out "Why" you always choose a "Bad Boy" to date or cohabitate with them. The reason depends upon core traits developed during life, generally early on, and to change the behavior, those reasons must be sought and become consciously made known to the self.
Self-help books that deal with subjects such as "Raising Weasels For Profit" or "How to Use Your Index Finger" can be very effective, due to the fact they we are augmenting our knowledge base by learning a specific task. A self-help book that deals with psychological anomalies is only effective if a person is willing to seek out their problem and identify it. As far as dealing with the problem or changing the behavior, they are useless. If psychological self-help books were even moderately effective, professional psychological personnel would not be needed. That's I why there are billions and billions" of them.
There is also additional statistical information given that could be of relevance to the reader, but, as with all statistics, one must remember a wise man once said "There are lies, damnable lies and statistics."
One side note I found disturbing. I am a fantasy and animation fan. The descriptions of some of the characters used will forever change my view of them--in particular, Tinker Bell, who I may never think the of same again in my life. I appreciate the reference to the book character but the author forgets that child animations have been made of these characters, and they are not portrayed in precisely the same way. Hence forth simple, loving child animated characters are utilized and denigrated to a degree to show inherent short-comings in relationships.
Reviewed by: Lee Crawford |
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