Having an affair vs. having a divorce. Which is better?
Is it better to have an affair or to get a divorce? Unfortunately for many the answer to this question is not simple, and can vary depending on the specific circumstances of the marriage as well as other relevant factors. With some marriages an affair may be less damaging, both to the spouses and to any children in the home, but for others divorce is a better choice. Each case needs to be looked at individually to find the right answer. If a couple is unhappy in the marriage and the spouse having an affair no longer loves the other partner then a divorce may be the best choice for many in this situation. If the affair is caused simply by a need for excitement or sexual gratification then most of these cases usually mean the marriage can be saved if both spouses are willing to work together.
If there are small children involved then deciding on affair versus divorce gets more complicated, because now there are innocent hostages involved. Divorce may break up the home and take an emotional toll on the children, while a discreet affair that is not discovered can usually keep the family together. If there is any abuse in the marriage then obviously divorce is the best choice for the partner being abused, or for the parent protecting their child from abuse. Most of the time this is not an issue however, and an affair may prevent guilt over breaking up the family home. If you are caught in an affair this can lead to divorce in many marriages though, so care must be used.
Out of the two types of affairs the emotional ones are the ones which cause the highest numbers of divorce. If you can not communicate with your partner openly and honestly, and you are both not willing to work on any issues, then you may be better off seeking a divorce as long as there are no other relevant factors. If you are looking for an affair because you want excitement back in your life, or you love your spouse but need sex more frequently than they are willing to provide, then an affair could be the right answer. The real question is what are you looking to get out of an affair? If it is just physical then an affair may be a good idea, but if you are looking for an emotional attachment your marriage could be in trouble
If you are the type of person who feels a lot of guilt, or who can not lie or be deceptive, then it may not be possible to have an affair without getting caught. If you have these problems then a divorce may be a better idea for your peace of mind and mental health. Affairs start for many reasons, and each reason given may get a different answer on whether it is better to get a divorce or have an affair. Only you can decide which is better in your unique circumstances, after careful thought and close evaluation of all the relevant factors.
Filed under: Advice
